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flybycontactThis was written for Angstober 2024 using prompt 1, "Again".
Title: The Same Script
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Characters/Pairing: Anthy, Utena, Akio, brief and vague allusions to other duellists; Anthy/Utena on a quiet level
Rating: R (dark and angsty tone, stabbing, mention of bleeding, implied abuse and incest, Anthy's self-loathing, Akio being his own warning, brief slutshaming language directed at an unspecified party)
Summary: Anthy knows that every iteration of the duelling game ultimately comes to the deed she's just carried out. Set at the beginning of episode 39.
-
Anthy had stabbed the victor of the duelling game in the back -- again.
As much as she wished it could have been different with Utena, and as much as she hadn't wanted to go through with it this time -- it was so much harder than usual to shut her heart down to carry out the killing blow -- she still plunged the sword she'd covertly picked up through Utena's back, just as she'd done to every victor who'd come before her.
Every iteration of the game came to this. A handful of students her brother could manipulate were chosen as duellists to fight over possession of her as the Rose Bride, any duellist she became engaged to did whatever they wanted with her, and once the final victor became apparent, her brother sank his venomous fangs into them in whatever nefarious way he could so they would yield their soul sword to him. All the while, she discretely steered all the duellists to exactly where her brother wanted them, obeying him in everything whether she wanted to or not, and the victor rarely suspected her of anything up to the moment she stabbed them in the back in a betrayal that shocked them but was entirely inevitable to her.
Utena's fate, too, was inevitable despite everything. Anthy hadn't even initially believed she'd be much different from anyone who came before her –- she'd been engaged to more than a few self-righteous hypocrites before -- yet her increasing sincerity in trying to befriend her had changed her mind, even to the point where she truly thought that here was finally the Prince she'd been hoping for all these years. Still, the usual script had to be followed, no matter how many deviations there had been from it this time.
"You could never become my Prince," she told Utena, citing the script with the appropriate adjustments, "because you're a girl." She didn't mean those words from her own heart, even though what she said immediately beforehand about Utena reminding her of the Dios she once loved had been sincere; from the standpoint of this world, Princes were not girls, but there were also many other things they were not. She fixed her script each time to cite whichever way the victor could never be her Prince, and it was almost invariably some great weakness of theirs that would drive them to despair.
Because you're a girl. Utena was not the first victor she'd said that to, nor was she even the only duellist in this cycle she could've said it to. Because you're a child. That was another line she'd used before and could potentially have used this time, if that particular duellist had ever had any chance. Because you're a dirty harlot. Another one. Because you can never be more than second best. Yet another. There was no end of them.
She cast the sword she used aside, roughly, before taking Utena's soul sword from her, gently; afterwards, she and her brother shared much the same exchange as usual, like actors in a play, albeit with a little more hesitation on her part than usual before she let him take Utena's sword. Then would follow the same thing that happened every time: her brother would try to open the Rose Gate with the victor's soul sword, she would take the million swords of humanity's hatred in his place, and if it went the same way it always did before, everything would be in vain and they'd have to start it all over again from scratch.
Utena still clung to her dress, still not wanting her to go, still not begrudging her as she should for this most loathsome and unforgivable betrayal. Anthy thanked her for the small taste of friendship she'd given her -- not untrue, but it had also been more than just a small taste, and it hadn't only been friendship, either -- before bidding her farewell and leaving her to bleed out as if she hadn't even been there in the first place. Whether or not she had even been there, Anthy couldn't be sure of; years of mentally detaching from herself had long since left her with a muddied sense of her own presence in a lot of situations, especially when she was going to be taking those million swords and all the pain that came with them all over again.
A million swords every time, all for the sake of a promise that felt more and more empty each time. Yet Anthy recalled another promise, one that felt like it had been made far longer ago than it actually had been. Part of her still wanted that promise to still be kept and fulfilled somehow, even if that hope felt dim to the point of being almost completely diminished by now.
If only there could be a little further deviance from the usual old script.
-
As always, comments and constructive criticism are both welcome and appreciated.
Title: The Same Script
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Characters/Pairing: Anthy, Utena, Akio, brief and vague allusions to other duellists; Anthy/Utena on a quiet level
Rating: R (dark and angsty tone, stabbing, mention of bleeding, implied abuse and incest, Anthy's self-loathing, Akio being his own warning, brief slutshaming language directed at an unspecified party)
Summary: Anthy knows that every iteration of the duelling game ultimately comes to the deed she's just carried out. Set at the beginning of episode 39.
-
Anthy had stabbed the victor of the duelling game in the back -- again.
As much as she wished it could have been different with Utena, and as much as she hadn't wanted to go through with it this time -- it was so much harder than usual to shut her heart down to carry out the killing blow -- she still plunged the sword she'd covertly picked up through Utena's back, just as she'd done to every victor who'd come before her.
Every iteration of the game came to this. A handful of students her brother could manipulate were chosen as duellists to fight over possession of her as the Rose Bride, any duellist she became engaged to did whatever they wanted with her, and once the final victor became apparent, her brother sank his venomous fangs into them in whatever nefarious way he could so they would yield their soul sword to him. All the while, she discretely steered all the duellists to exactly where her brother wanted them, obeying him in everything whether she wanted to or not, and the victor rarely suspected her of anything up to the moment she stabbed them in the back in a betrayal that shocked them but was entirely inevitable to her.
Utena's fate, too, was inevitable despite everything. Anthy hadn't even initially believed she'd be much different from anyone who came before her –- she'd been engaged to more than a few self-righteous hypocrites before -- yet her increasing sincerity in trying to befriend her had changed her mind, even to the point where she truly thought that here was finally the Prince she'd been hoping for all these years. Still, the usual script had to be followed, no matter how many deviations there had been from it this time.
"You could never become my Prince," she told Utena, citing the script with the appropriate adjustments, "because you're a girl." She didn't mean those words from her own heart, even though what she said immediately beforehand about Utena reminding her of the Dios she once loved had been sincere; from the standpoint of this world, Princes were not girls, but there were also many other things they were not. She fixed her script each time to cite whichever way the victor could never be her Prince, and it was almost invariably some great weakness of theirs that would drive them to despair.
Because you're a girl. Utena was not the first victor she'd said that to, nor was she even the only duellist in this cycle she could've said it to. Because you're a child. That was another line she'd used before and could potentially have used this time, if that particular duellist had ever had any chance. Because you're a dirty harlot. Another one. Because you can never be more than second best. Yet another. There was no end of them.
She cast the sword she used aside, roughly, before taking Utena's soul sword from her, gently; afterwards, she and her brother shared much the same exchange as usual, like actors in a play, albeit with a little more hesitation on her part than usual before she let him take Utena's sword. Then would follow the same thing that happened every time: her brother would try to open the Rose Gate with the victor's soul sword, she would take the million swords of humanity's hatred in his place, and if it went the same way it always did before, everything would be in vain and they'd have to start it all over again from scratch.
Utena still clung to her dress, still not wanting her to go, still not begrudging her as she should for this most loathsome and unforgivable betrayal. Anthy thanked her for the small taste of friendship she'd given her -- not untrue, but it had also been more than just a small taste, and it hadn't only been friendship, either -- before bidding her farewell and leaving her to bleed out as if she hadn't even been there in the first place. Whether or not she had even been there, Anthy couldn't be sure of; years of mentally detaching from herself had long since left her with a muddied sense of her own presence in a lot of situations, especially when she was going to be taking those million swords and all the pain that came with them all over again.
A million swords every time, all for the sake of a promise that felt more and more empty each time. Yet Anthy recalled another promise, one that felt like it had been made far longer ago than it actually had been. Part of her still wanted that promise to still be kept and fulfilled somehow, even if that hope felt dim to the point of being almost completely diminished by now.
If only there could be a little further deviance from the usual old script.
-
As always, comments and constructive criticism are both welcome and appreciated.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-01 11:37 pm (UTC)OUCH on those burns towards Miki, Touga, and Saionji. I can only imagine how brutal she would have been if Nanami stayed in the game and made it to the end. Or how she'd have twisted the Shiori knife into Juri even further.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-01 11:50 pm (UTC)I was thinking of Nanami and Juri as other potential targets for "because you're a girl", and it also occurred to me as I was writing that Nanami could be another target for "because you're a child" even though I did primarily have Miki in mind for that. Meanwhile, I wondered if I was going too far with the burn towards Touga, but given the similarities between him and Anthy, I thought it would make sense for her to use one that reflected part of her own terrible self-image. D: D:
All sad thoughts over my sad fic starring a sad character aside, thanks for the comment!
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 12:05 am (UTC)(For Nanami it would be "because you're just a fly with a brother complex" and for Juri it would be "because you merely pity me" aka the very thing Shiori accuses her of, I think.)
You're welcome!
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 10:00 pm (UTC)Oh God, "because you're just another fly in the swarm" would've been an excellently nasty one for Nanami; I wish I'd thought of it before I published the fic! Drawing a blunt parallel between Anthy and Shiori is a compelling thought, too.